Opopanox, Home of the Arrogant Worm

Hellos, found a poem I couldn’t resist sharing. Yanked it from a book by William Lutz titled “DoubleSpeak”. I’d forgotten I’d had the thing, and I found it again when I was searching for something else, and so, here it is! The author of said poem is Professor Del Kehl of Arizona State University (or he was, dunno if he still is, books’ several years old). The book itself is pretty damn interesting, there’s quite a bit I’d like to take the time to share about, but not at the moment, because I’m busy. =/ Lutz managed to cram so much stuff in here it’s practically a gold mine! A bit dated, but still a mine of interesting nuggets. Scary, slippery ‘lil nuggets. But on with the poem.

The Adman’s 23rd (psalm)

The Adman is my shepard;

I shall ever want.

He maketh me to walk a mile for a Camel;

He leadeth me beside Crystal Waters

In the High Country of Coors;

He restoreth my soul with Perrier.

He guideth me in Marlboro Country

For Mammon’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the

Jolly Green Giant,

In the shadow of B.O., halitosis, indigestion,

headache pain and hemerroidal tissue,

I will fear no evil,

For I am in Good Hands with Allstate;

Thy Arid, Scope, Tums, Tylenol and Preperation H -

They comfort me.

Stauffer’s preparest a table before the TV

In the presence of all my appetites;

Thou annointest my head with Brylcream;

My decaffeinated cup runneth over.

Surely surfeit and security shall follow me

All the days of Metropolitan Life,

And I shall dwell in a Continental Home

With a mortgage for ever and ever.

Taking a tax course! It’s free, couldn’t pass it up, and besides, I need another job. 8 week course, and it doesn’t seem to bad, even though I’ve only been there a night. Although I’ve a small problem with the teaching methods. Guy’s nice, very friendly, encourages questions, but that isn’t the problem; s’that he doesn’t explain by the book. I can’t follow the book and listen to him at the same time (and worse, he jumps around) because he doesn’t say anything in the order it’s given as, and the whole three hours you had to follow him and the book simultaniously. So I forsee redoing the class in my off-time to understand what he’s saying and hoping like hell he doesn’t call on me in class when asking questions about new information, because I’ve no idea what the hell he’s talking about as he’s saying it. I hate it when that happens, I’d almost forgotten about it. S’why I rarely liked classes in school, way to many teachers tried to make students follow in the book and listen to different ways of explaining things at the same time, loads of confusion.

I also need to fix my tags in the blog, some of them aren’t tagged correctly, and I’d like to see some sort of rhyme or reason for this thing.

Well, it took the reset password after it decided my name existed. Not sure why it said I didn’t exist, and would I like to register? It was the last straw. Now let’s see if I can change pass and use it, instead of having to go through my email and say ‘yes, a comment is spam’ in order to sign in. Not much use going through email to look up the pass saved in drafts, it would just take longer than finding a comment. Provided one is actually in the email cache. The ‘remember me’ box doesn’t seem to work, either. I hate being computer illiterate.