Opopanox, Home of the Arrogant Worm

In other news my estimation of my no-smoking therapist’s intelligence and empathy took another nosedive. Yes, ~another~ one. It’s almost as if she waits until she gets settled again before flying spectacularly to land on her ass. Got around to getting an appointment, went today, told her about the mood cycling on the Wellbutrin and that it starts to ‘even out’ (in this case, it means the emotions are a smidge blunter, all over) in about three weeks or so, but by then I can’t take it anymore so I ditch said medicine, because while I’m used to being generally depressed with nasty episodes, I ain’t used to going from mediocre to exstatically overjoyed to horribly, horribly suicidal in a 24 hour timespan. But apparently since the meds do indeed totally negate the urge to smoke, (which I did confirm!) I’ll be fine if I keep taking it! Yes, she said the no smoking was more important than the apparently horribly ignored mental breakdown and crying jags. She does, however, want to ‘up’ the dose, take both pills at once instead of spacing them out so the same amount so as I sleep, the theory goes, it’ll lengthen the exstatically overjoyed bits to close to bedtime so, in her slightly foggy mind, perhaps I’ll ’sleep off’ the really nasty bits. Except I explained that I get somewhere between four and six hours a night (in which case she said Yes! It sometimes does give more energy, do you have any more energy? Well yes, I do, about three fucking percent but that’s not why I’m sleeping even less than I normally do you fucking moron, and then I attempted to explain sleeping problems (which she should already know about, it’s in my damn file!, sometimes I think there’s no hope for her), and …yeah, with the meds I doubt that’s going to work, because I normally crash between two and three pm,  and I normally crawl to bed at about two-thirty am, fall asleep anywhere from between, generally, about three-thirty and five am, and crawl out of bed between eight and ten. Is she bad at math? I was so close to asking, but I figured it would be rude as she’s supposed to know what she’s talking about, as she worked in mental health before moving to smoking cessation. I mean, come on. Say I slept for six hours, actual sleep at three thirty and got up at nine. Nine am to two-thirty pm is five and a half hours. That’s five and a half hours of neutral – very happy. That doesn’t hold much of a candle to twelve hours of hell, I’m sorry. Even if the medication time was doubled but not the medication itself (which is the new plan!) and she’s hoping it’ll extend The Happy the same amount of hours it lets me enjoy, that still leave SIX FUCKING HOURS A DAY OF HELL. I’m surrounded by idiots, that’s what it is. The funny thing? She was one of my old mental health therapists who helped prescribe meds. I find I don’t have a hell of a lot of faith in her lately. Again. Feeling vindictive again too, big surprise there \sarcasm\. I’d like to shove the twelve or so hours of Fucking Horribleness onto her for a few weeks, see how well she finds this “Keep with the medicine!” schtick then.  

Guess what I found at a yard sale?! (alright, they claimed it was a flea market, but what it ~really~ was was a yard sale. Four and a half small/medium tables do not a flea market make.)   Hrm, wordpress is screwing up, won’t let me hit the enter key in the box. Anway, found vintage folding opera glasses! for two bucks! And a totally different yard sale had a wooden turning spice rack for two bucks, spices unopened =D! Well, the garlic powder was opened, but there was like, only a half inch used. But the opera glasses!!!! And they fold, looks sort of like a cigarette case holder when it’s closed, ‘cept for the wheel insert in the back gives it away, never seen a smoke case with that. I can carry them in my pocket to make out across-the-street signs! It’ll be grand! No more trying to squint and guess word length on those signs on whether I’ve gone to far! And I won’t have to cozy up to the sign on my own side of the road now to see it either, Lord I feel so smug. They’re metal with tan vinyl on both sides, the ‘glasses’ are actually part of the construction of its case.The box is identitcal to the one I hunted up below online as well, ‘cept it says butterfly above the ‘Folding opera glasses’ script, and the lense spec isn’t listed on the nose bridge, that says butterfly as well. So pretty <3 And there’s no way they can break in my pocket when I carry ‘em around, and they’re not cumbersome like the binocular style opera glasses, or the ones with the single handle! And if I fall or trip they’re safe cuz they’re in a case! There’s no way to lose!  Ha!

Ran errands, picked up dinner from the market (Go Fish!) and saw a few yard sales on the way home. Snagged three necklaces 2 beaded ones & a chain and a dictionary of shorthand from …the fourties? I dunno, but it’ll be a fun read. There was a very nice shawl I wanted to snag too, but it was a child’s one >.<. Like, deep red, fading to pink then fades to white. Was -pretty-. Gorgeous, even. Never worn a shawl before, can’t think of where I’d get away with wearing a shawl, …but it was pretty! Way too small though, and I couldn’t think of anyone I knew that had a kid that would wear it, and someone else carted it off while I was mulling over the possibility of purchase. Still a nice trip, though.

Oi, Daisy! Can you see the blog properly with this one? I was thinking it might be the 3 colum thing that was screwing it up since that’s  what I changed it over to (I think) and that 2  columns might be easier viewed. If it’s see-able, I can find a nice two colum in black and grey again, cuz I can’t remember what I was using earlier. ….so is it viewable?

You know, I think it might actually help if I can manage to get the various music recs out of the way, my mind (and ears) keep loping back to ‘em. This one, for instance, I found last night searching lyrics when I was looking for a different song. I recognized the refrain, then went and snagged it on the music program. it’s been a long, ~long~ time since I’ve heard it. Many years, and I found it by accident!

‘Tin Man’ by America

“But Oz never did give nothin’ to the tin man

That he didn’t, didn’t already have”

‘Shiny Happy People’ by R.E.M. Shopping list; I want the black suit of the dour guitarist, the happy guitarist’s green coat (are those sequins? It’s sparkly), Ooo, and the short black hat of the guy on the right in the suit.

My my my, cute, yes. Kaiser Chiefs singin’ ‘Oh My God’. Whole thing, artists, scene sets and equipment’s gorgeous. Fer some reason all I can think of is ‘babyface’. <3

“Time on your side that will never end
The most beautiful thing you can ever spend
But you work in a shirt with your nametag on it
Drifting apart like a plate tectonic
It don’t matter to me
Cause all I wanted to be
Is a million miles from here
Somewhere more familiar”

‘Video Killed The Radio Star’ by The Buggles, Live! He’s got the coolest suit. Linda and Debbie, grand voices.

Buncha Stuff! You’ll like this one, I think, plenty of juicy bits and some very good writing, always appreciated. And! Three of ‘em are on the same site! Arab Comment brings you poetry,

Poetry link located here

Humor,

Humor link located here

And news, events and personal stories regarding Arab and Muslim life.

Muslim Women’s link located here

Poem by Emily Dickinson, Part IV: Time And Eternity, LXXXV

Here’s a music video Via UTube, Blind Melon’s ‘No Rain’. It does occur to me, after a bit of contemplation, that I may not have gotten the message that others have gotten from the video for several reasons. The first being that I’ve seen the video only once before today, for at a guess of about thirty seconds when I was ten, and at the time it was pointed out because the woman said the Bee Girl reminded her of me, so I took the music lyrics in that vein. They fit absurdly well, too. I looked said video up earlier today, since someone mentioned it on a thread for music recs. I have, of course, heard the song multiple times, but when watching a video for such a short burst the thing that imprints itself onto your retina is of a kid who doesn’t seem to be able to get any of the adults to listen to what’s wrong. She was dancing and gesturing and the adults just …looked on with blank expressions. I had that enough as a child, why would I want to watch a video of it when it was pointed out? So I went back to wandering around the apartment. The lyrics sort of cement itself in your mind with such a little backdrop and reinforce it as a gesturing of Adult Behavior = “Kids – Dunno what they’re talking ’bout, the little nutters”. But anyway, it did occur to me just a few moments ago that other people who’ve seen the video might just consider it something along the lines of a quaint view of children’s ‘quirkiness’, due to the costume, perhaps. I think the video would have gotten quite a different response with a costume change, say to jeans, a t-shirt and a pair of jellies.

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin’ the puddles gather rain And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
and speak my point of view

But it’s not sane, It’s not sane

I just want some one to say to me
I’ll always be there when you wake
Ya know I’d like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I’ll have it made

And I don’t understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there’s no rain

And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it’s a great escape

escape……escape……escape……
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain

ya don’t like my point of view
ya think I’m insane
Its not sane……it’s not sane

With the bee costume it looks sort of cute, now; with jeans and the same song lyrics, not so much.

And now, from ‘A Softer World’ by Joey,

Description- A picture of a red and white fire hydrant cut off at the top, broken into three panels. The first panel asks “What would God do?” While the second panel says “That question is always in my heart.” The third panel states that “A can of kerosene is always the answer”.

Oh bother, there’s a spider the size of a dime that seems to have gone mad. It’s running all over the corner of my back wall, doesn’t seem to know where it’s going and it’s too far away for me to squash it. Under other circumstances I would take it outside, but it was pouring a bit ago and my window screen doesn’t open. Up, down, over to the side, pause, scramble in a circle, back up, to the side, pause again…Mother of pearl I want a can of raid. There’s rules for this sort of thing. It’s not like the spider who wandered in front of my book and trecked to the other end of my mattress to get to the wall in the old apartment while was I was lieing there, that one was just taking a shortcut (in a fairly straight line might I add). Surprised me when it was kind enough to walk around me instead of on me, though, very considerate for a spider. Not like this poor bugger, who seems to have gone insane for no reason that I can discern. I wonder what the hell is wrong with it, can spiders get dementia? Ah crap, now the little hellion has zoomed across the wall to lurk above my bed, this just won’t do. Normally I don’t mind spiders as long as they keep to their own corners of the room and I know they’re harmless, but this one looks like its tiny mind has stepped out for at least the evening and I wouldn’t want it to get Ideas. Now it’s just sitting there, n’considering its previous behavior I don’t feel particularly confidant that if I were to shoo it back to its corner it would stay. It’s obviously been here a while, surely it’s noticed that I destroy the webs above my resting area? Perhaps it succumbed to heatstroke? I know spiders can die from heat but I didn’t think they went loco when they did it, and you’d think they’d have the sense to go to lower ground when they ~do~ get too warm instead of acting like a three year old with ADHD on a sugar high. Well, Dad was kind enough to use his height to squash it for me. Little bit of guilt at its demise, but not so much considering its behavior, especially since I sleep here.

-Note; that isn’t the spider from my wall. I had no camera for a picture, not that it would matter as I’m too short to have gotten a good shot and besides which, it was a common house spider and a small one at that. Unlike the spider in the picture, which is a False Widow, relative of the Black Widow. Pretty, no?

A meme, swiped from Drakyn, Blog link located here, who got it from Lina, Blog link located here. It’s an interesting little thing and I love the pictures.

The concept:

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, and pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

The questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food? right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your flickr name?

(And no, this was not the post intended for today, but I thought it interesting, anyway)

And another UTube video, ‘Angry Angel’ by Imogen Heap. I’ve ~No~ idea what the video is about, but it’s interesting, I’ll give it that. Also, main character seems like he fluctuates between eight and fifteen, emotionally.

(And no, this was not the post planned for today)

Ah, we’ve music! Todays post is innocuous and playful; tomorrows is not. It’s in a rough draft form, and ~Will~ be posted come hell, high water or my own abject laziness, the last which occurs way too often for my liking. But anyway, various musical numbers via UTube. The first, ‘Abracadabra’ by the Steve Miller Band. Video quality is poor, but boy does it have a bit of that retro feel. Showcases parts of a magician’s act and, I gotta say, the two guys in masks were interesting, wish there was a clearer view. But then I’m a bit of a costume addict and I do enjoy making masks. hard to find the correct plastic template for the paper mache base, though, the art store still doesn’t have it and the cheap half masks at Halloween are too thin to hold up. Anyway;

‘Head Games’ by Foreigner. Catchy. Doesn’t seem to be a video, looks like it might be the album cover. Dunno why a woman holding up a roll of toilet paper in a bathroom makes a good cover, though. S’a guy’s bathroom, maybe it resembles personal frustration with past loves. Who the hell knows.

(Fun Fact: for years I thought he was saying Cat Games instead of Head Games)

Next up, ‘Monster Man’ by Soul Coughing, video is Kingdom Hearts.

And now ‘Hello Hello’ by Poe with ….a blank screen! Couldn’t find a video I liked to go with it.

~Ahem~

‘Androgyny’ by Garbage, actually has the correct music video, seems like. Also, really nice clothes, and the haircut is grand, fond of angles.

‘Blue Monday’ by New Order! Interesting video, I like the colors and the Labs’re cute.

Heeeeeeeee, ‘Detachable Penis’ by King Missile. I found it! And I want the orange coat. Not sure why the black squares’re there but otherwise, the video’s pretty much how I pictured it (first time I’ve seen it).

‘The Gambler’ by Kenny Rogers, live! <3 Love the guy, good songs. I also want the purple coat. -.-

And last but not least, ‘Rock Lobster’ by B-52’s. Another retro-themed video, the woman in black at the end seems like she has killer vocals

It seems I failed to mention, in the post below, that it was s’posed to segue in the post below to wondering about possible complaint offices, because I’ve no clue where to look. I also failed to mention I turned 25 nine days ago. Woo.

-….Oh! And I remember where there’s a bike/wheelchair/scooter/stroller path sharing the side of the road! It runs 1/4 of K. St. Never mind that ~all~ of K. St. is hectic and a goodly chunk of it’s missing sidewalks n’really bad sidewalks where there’s no path. Bah. But it’s there, so I suppose that elusive ‘they’ get some credit.

-Fair warning, money needs to be shuttled elsewhere so the internet might be going away for a bit.

- …I know, I just keep adding, but what’s the use of creating another post for one sentence? Good news forgot to mention, gambling was canceled ^.^